Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You dont lie about slip and slides
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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