Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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