Will you blow on my dice?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
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