Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
