Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
