My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
