a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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