at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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