If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Still dying that you shit outside
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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