there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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