He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
