sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
