thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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