Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
