no, he came in my armpit
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
