Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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