I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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