I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
