and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Panties = found
Randomize
