HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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