i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
