Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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