Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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