Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
