She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
this just has baby written all over it
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Hippo gnu deer
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
