Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I need a hoe opinion
go on
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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