I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
