Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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