Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
