My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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