I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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