Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
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