I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
