A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
