hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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