we're blogging at a bar
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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