we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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