It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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