haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
