she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
