this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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