sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
