what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I have aggressive nipples.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
