thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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