I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
