...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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