i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
