Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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