its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
