remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
